Saturday, August 13, 2011
LearningToDrive.
the week after next i begin learning to drive. i am hugely excited about this. and nervous at the same time. its kind of like a new step to being grown-up, i cant wait but i dont want wish my life away. watching the league of extraordinary gentlaman right now. <3 it. i had a lot offered to me today, piano lessons more french lessons, some drawing classes, art classes, working in a florist's for all the big days, christmas, valentines, easter etc. and it all sounds great to me. i cannot wait. thats about it.. <3
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Photos&Memories.
just spent ages looking through loads of old pictures and realising how much fun i had in each one, looking at this picture makes me remember that conversation; the people we go through life with mean a lot to us, and i am glad pictures exist, so memories can last for longer than they may have done otherwise. for example, i have this really photo of me and these girls i went to primary and secondary school who lived in my village, we're on the school bus and we're just laughing, we had more than likely just had a go at this kid on the bus called Ollie, that was frequent!!
im grateful for the friends and family i have the ones i care the most about, the people who i cherish our memories together. the people i met at school helped shape who i am now, maybe not who i will always be but for now who i am.
Memories pressed between the pages of my mind, Memories sweetened through the ages just like wine. ElvisPresley.
people who i may have met briefly or those who i grew up with, they all mean a lot to me. people that will appear frequently on here are Emily and Abi. a year ago everything would have been emily and anna, but just with growing up we drifted and i dont really class anna as one of my best friends anymore which is a shame; as when i was with her and emily i was at my best, i wish i could say me and emily were still bestest friends, but im afraid its too late to make a difference.. and i know it hurts emily to see me and abi, as whenever im with abi im always having a laugh and enjoying myself. every friendship is different and i completely realise this, i dont expect me and abi to be like me and emily, god only knows they couldnt be more different; but when me and emily were bestest friends it was always sunshine and laughter. we'd fall out over silly stuff then make up again as girls do, we'd have childish arguments but then it got to a time where pretty much every few weeks we would fall out and stay fallen out for quite a long time. me and emily have been in the same tutor group for 5 years. i only really started talking to her in year 9/10/11.
" They say there's three versions of this story mine and yours and then the truth, and we can put down to circumstance, our childhood , then our youth." Robbie Williams&Gary Barlow.
ive always this group of friends, i wouldnt have necessarily called any of them close friends in the beginning; perhaps rachael but that was about it, abi was part if this group, i'd always known her.. we shared our first lesson of secondary school together, we'd always gotten on well; chatted in lessons etc etc and then as me emily and anna were falling out more often (year 10/11) i became more and more a part of this second group, i had phases all through secondary school where for no apparent reason i'd just hang out with this gang more often that not. i liked the people. i always had fun with them. there was always banter within the group, once alex and ashley had a fight everyone thought it was scandalous.
emily has depression, this meant she has confidence issues. she doesnt like big crowds or lots of people... it meant she spent less and less time with me.. i felt like i had done something wrong, emily didnt want to talk to me about her problems because she though i was weighed down by too many of my own. she should have said something... i missed her and so i thought i needed to find new people to hang out with. the group i spoke about earlier? i already knew them pretty well so i thought i'd go to them. the ratios changed. i spent less time with emily and more time with this group, no hard feelings to emily but i didnt want to spend all lunches inside Mrs Harvey's office, i wanted me her and anna to go back to our spot by the fence and while away the time looking at buses and old people, the blue sky and clouds. to begin with i felt like an outsider but as time went on i forged strong friendships with a lot of the group, they laughed at my jokes, would listen to me and spend time with me; im not saying that emily and anna didn't i just think it felt better in a bigger group. there were little pairs and groups within this group, chloe and millie, grace and jo.. the boys all stuck together too. but there were a few people that didnt have best friends in the group, abi was one of them.
There is no other who can take your place, i feel happy inside when i see your face, i hope you believe me, because i speak sincerely and i mean it when i tell you that i need you,
your my best friend. Weezer.
we often as a group would go out to rollerworld, me and abi had gradually been getting closer and it was on one of these such outings to rollerworld that i asked abi if she then wanted to come for a sleepover.. she said she didnt know and she would get back to me, she now says to begin with she didnt know if she did and then just thought 'screw it this girl seems pretty cool i'll do it.' and i think this was when we really hit it off. from then on they say the rest is history..
admittedly its a similar story for me and emily, one day long long ago her friends sophie and colette (who at the time really didnt like me) weren't at school so emily decided to hang around with me, we were outside of the science block and she said to me " do you know what your actually alright" i just laughed and said 'thanks very much, your not to bad yourself' and again the rest they say is history..
me and emily went through a lot together and im grateful for all the help she gave me. ever so. hopefully me and abi will never have to go through something as heart-breakingly painful as what me and emily did, and im quite glad of what me and emily went through and well we came out the other side. it made us stringer.. we could manage to laugh about the little things more, we were more greatful for things, didnt take people for granted.
on the day of my mums funeral it wasnt the thought of saying goodbye to my mum that made me cry first... it was seeing emily cry. there aren't many people that when i see them cry it makes me cry; but emily is one of the 'lucky' few.
ive written a full blown essay now and so should probably close up but i just want Emily to know how much she means to me.
shes irreplaceable.
irremplacables de votre mon meilleur ami. <3
ps google translater required. <3
im grateful for the friends and family i have the ones i care the most about, the people who i cherish our memories together. the people i met at school helped shape who i am now, maybe not who i will always be but for now who i am.
Memories pressed between the pages of my mind, Memories sweetened through the ages just like wine. ElvisPresley.
people who i may have met briefly or those who i grew up with, they all mean a lot to me. people that will appear frequently on here are Emily and Abi. a year ago everything would have been emily and anna, but just with growing up we drifted and i dont really class anna as one of my best friends anymore which is a shame; as when i was with her and emily i was at my best, i wish i could say me and emily were still bestest friends, but im afraid its too late to make a difference.. and i know it hurts emily to see me and abi, as whenever im with abi im always having a laugh and enjoying myself. every friendship is different and i completely realise this, i dont expect me and abi to be like me and emily, god only knows they couldnt be more different; but when me and emily were bestest friends it was always sunshine and laughter. we'd fall out over silly stuff then make up again as girls do, we'd have childish arguments but then it got to a time where pretty much every few weeks we would fall out and stay fallen out for quite a long time. me and emily have been in the same tutor group for 5 years. i only really started talking to her in year 9/10/11.
" They say there's three versions of this story mine and yours and then the truth, and we can put down to circumstance, our childhood , then our youth." Robbie Williams&Gary Barlow.
ive always this group of friends, i wouldnt have necessarily called any of them close friends in the beginning; perhaps rachael but that was about it, abi was part if this group, i'd always known her.. we shared our first lesson of secondary school together, we'd always gotten on well; chatted in lessons etc etc and then as me emily and anna were falling out more often (year 10/11) i became more and more a part of this second group, i had phases all through secondary school where for no apparent reason i'd just hang out with this gang more often that not. i liked the people. i always had fun with them. there was always banter within the group, once alex and ashley had a fight everyone thought it was scandalous.
emily has depression, this meant she has confidence issues. she doesnt like big crowds or lots of people... it meant she spent less and less time with me.. i felt like i had done something wrong, emily didnt want to talk to me about her problems because she though i was weighed down by too many of my own. she should have said something... i missed her and so i thought i needed to find new people to hang out with. the group i spoke about earlier? i already knew them pretty well so i thought i'd go to them. the ratios changed. i spent less time with emily and more time with this group, no hard feelings to emily but i didnt want to spend all lunches inside Mrs Harvey's office, i wanted me her and anna to go back to our spot by the fence and while away the time looking at buses and old people, the blue sky and clouds. to begin with i felt like an outsider but as time went on i forged strong friendships with a lot of the group, they laughed at my jokes, would listen to me and spend time with me; im not saying that emily and anna didn't i just think it felt better in a bigger group. there were little pairs and groups within this group, chloe and millie, grace and jo.. the boys all stuck together too. but there were a few people that didnt have best friends in the group, abi was one of them.
There is no other who can take your place, i feel happy inside when i see your face, i hope you believe me, because i speak sincerely and i mean it when i tell you that i need you,
your my best friend. Weezer.
we often as a group would go out to rollerworld, me and abi had gradually been getting closer and it was on one of these such outings to rollerworld that i asked abi if she then wanted to come for a sleepover.. she said she didnt know and she would get back to me, she now says to begin with she didnt know if she did and then just thought 'screw it this girl seems pretty cool i'll do it.' and i think this was when we really hit it off. from then on they say the rest is history..
admittedly its a similar story for me and emily, one day long long ago her friends sophie and colette (who at the time really didnt like me) weren't at school so emily decided to hang around with me, we were outside of the science block and she said to me " do you know what your actually alright" i just laughed and said 'thanks very much, your not to bad yourself' and again the rest they say is history..
me and emily went through a lot together and im grateful for all the help she gave me. ever so. hopefully me and abi will never have to go through something as heart-breakingly painful as what me and emily did, and im quite glad of what me and emily went through and well we came out the other side. it made us stringer.. we could manage to laugh about the little things more, we were more greatful for things, didnt take people for granted.
on the day of my mums funeral it wasnt the thought of saying goodbye to my mum that made me cry first... it was seeing emily cry. there aren't many people that when i see them cry it makes me cry; but emily is one of the 'lucky' few.
ive written a full blown essay now and so should probably close up but i just want Emily to know how much she means to me.
shes irreplaceable.
irremplacables de votre mon meilleur ami. <3
ps google translater required. <3
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
ERW.
once upon a time i had this friend. her name was emily. she was my best friend in the entire world and no one would ever beat her. we went through so much together. when my mum died, i went round emilys house. when she came round mine we would laugh so much, make our feet warm in my old caravan. we once went to the pub and i was wearing this really pretty blue spotty dress and plimsolls; i looked ridiculous, we both laughed at me.
she going to hate me for putting this on here.. once we went to my local green and we rang this boy we know called alex. we put him on loudspeaker and sat on top of a bench. then emily farted. it was hilarious, she hung up straight away and we both fell about laughing, we were practically wetting ourselves. it was brilliant.
our entire friendship is filled of stuff like this. we have the moses walk, wesley the weasel, empelbert and lucinda, highwoods, lucy dicknose, libby the lucky lemur and margo the magnificent meerkat.
to others this means nothing.. but to me.. it means the world...
Cricket, dorrell duck, that time i went round annas house and she made me look beautiful, my mum loved her for that.pizza hut. the world cup. chinning.
the list could go on forever.
then we drifted. and now i regret every bad thing i ever did or said.
i miss her like mad and i hope she reads this i reckon she will.
our exploits could last a lifetime and the memories she gave me will.
i had put in my other post about a girl called abi. abi will never replace emily... not deep down. no one could. emily kind of made me a better person. with emily i realised school was important. i understood things more.. in general. i never want to lose her and i hope its not to late.
with emily we said lets make my mum proud.
i hope we still can. ♥
she going to hate me for putting this on here.. once we went to my local green and we rang this boy we know called alex. we put him on loudspeaker and sat on top of a bench. then emily farted. it was hilarious, she hung up straight away and we both fell about laughing, we were practically wetting ourselves. it was brilliant.
our entire friendship is filled of stuff like this. we have the moses walk, wesley the weasel, empelbert and lucinda, highwoods, lucy dicknose, libby the lucky lemur and margo the magnificent meerkat.
to others this means nothing.. but to me.. it means the world...
Cricket, dorrell duck, that time i went round annas house and she made me look beautiful, my mum loved her for that.pizza hut. the world cup. chinning.
the list could go on forever.
then we drifted. and now i regret every bad thing i ever did or said.
i miss her like mad and i hope she reads this i reckon she will.
our exploits could last a lifetime and the memories she gave me will.
i had put in my other post about a girl called abi. abi will never replace emily... not deep down. no one could. emily kind of made me a better person. with emily i realised school was important. i understood things more.. in general. i never want to lose her and i hope its not to late.
with emily we said lets make my mum proud.
i hope we still can. ♥
Inception&Dreaming
"I'll tell you a riddle. You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter. How can it not matter to you where the train will take you? "
"Because you'll be together."
that quote is out of Inception, one of my favourite films of all time. it revolves around dreaming which lately i've been doing a lot of. scientist say people have on average anywhere between 6-12+ dreams per night. everyone dreams, even blind people can see in their dreams, we only dream of what we know; the random person who sold you that pretzel-you will have seen him before. 12% of people dream in black&white. a dreams meaning is never as simple as what we think; they all have deep meaning way beyond what we could interpret. 'external stimuli invade our dreams'; a bang somewhere in your house may become a gunshot in your dream, when you snore; you are not dreaming, your body is practically paralyzed during sleep; this is so you dont act out your dream.
but anyway.. recently i have been remembering about 4-5 dreams per night, which i never do.. and they frequently feature marriage, i met this guy about a week ago, we're getting on really well and then the night before last i had a dream where we got married but there was no one else in the church. last night in my dream i married this man called Mark.
dreams are amazing and we forget 90% of them within 10 minutes of walking up. i had 5 dreams i could remember the night before last, in one i was flying above DisneyLand Paris with my cousins having a go at me, another i was swimming in a clear pale lake with tonnes of small french children singing in the water, i swam to the edge, there were reeds and a Chinese take away box filled with live ducklings, in another one i married the guy i met week or do ago- we were the only people in church. in another i was flying a plane that had the Queen, Barack Obama, and my best friends- we crashed. and i the last one i was the girl from the book "Meet Me At The Cupcake Cafe"- i read this about a month ago. i think the connection through all these is France. that's what the blatantly obvious suggests..
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." James Dean ♥
"Because you'll be together."
that quote is out of Inception, one of my favourite films of all time. it revolves around dreaming which lately i've been doing a lot of. scientist say people have on average anywhere between 6-12+ dreams per night. everyone dreams, even blind people can see in their dreams, we only dream of what we know; the random person who sold you that pretzel-you will have seen him before. 12% of people dream in black&white. a dreams meaning is never as simple as what we think; they all have deep meaning way beyond what we could interpret. 'external stimuli invade our dreams'; a bang somewhere in your house may become a gunshot in your dream, when you snore; you are not dreaming, your body is practically paralyzed during sleep; this is so you dont act out your dream.
but anyway.. recently i have been remembering about 4-5 dreams per night, which i never do.. and they frequently feature marriage, i met this guy about a week ago, we're getting on really well and then the night before last i had a dream where we got married but there was no one else in the church. last night in my dream i married this man called Mark.
dreams are amazing and we forget 90% of them within 10 minutes of walking up. i had 5 dreams i could remember the night before last, in one i was flying above DisneyLand Paris with my cousins having a go at me, another i was swimming in a clear pale lake with tonnes of small french children singing in the water, i swam to the edge, there were reeds and a Chinese take away box filled with live ducklings, in another one i married the guy i met week or do ago- we were the only people in church. in another i was flying a plane that had the Queen, Barack Obama, and my best friends- we crashed. and i the last one i was the girl from the book "Meet Me At The Cupcake Cafe"- i read this about a month ago. i think the connection through all these is France. that's what the blatantly obvious suggests..
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." James Dean ♥
Monday, August 8, 2011
Watching the people get lairy, It's not very pretty I tell thee, Walking through town is quite scary, It's not very sensible either.
A friend of a friend he got beaten, He looked the wrong way at a policeman, Would never of happened to Smeaton, An old Leodensian. I Predict a Riot- Kaiser Chiefs.
just sat and listened to this song made me think of the stuff going on in London, my cousins in the middle of that, not through choice either. humans are destructive beyond belief and with all this going on its no wonder that more than 250 people have been arrested and 35+ police officers have been injured. the world is full of madness.
this is all. <3
First time for everything.
I have never done anything like this in my life. like the other 750 million people in the world I have Facebook, I like random facts and statistics like that so you will see them frequently. I was advised to do this so I can remember all the stuff I did as a younger person when I'm old and grey and people can go to the moon for holidays and we all drive in hover cars and stuff like that... Anyway I digress. i was also told do put in the stuff that i think "defines" me.. which most of it is quite deep..
my dad left moi et meine famalam (mix of the languages there. i apologize) when i was 2.
i have a brother and a sister. 15 and 20 respectively.
my mum died September 2010 from cancer after a 3 year battle, well i don't like the term battle.. it doesn't sound right yeah she had cancer but she was amazingly strong and never gave in. she was and always will be my lifetime inspiration. anything i do will be to make her proud.
i have lived in France since February with my Aunt, Uncle and 2 cousins, its good but i sometimes wonder..
my step-dad turned out to be a total idiot; not the same man my mum married in 2005 which was a shame as i did kind of respect him.. hes getting married next year.
my brother lives with my Aunt, Uncle and four cousins in Kent he loves it. i wish him the best in life down there. :)
im in France learning the language. loving the people but missing England.
now girly kind of drippy stuff. ;) my bestest friend is Abi, never known anyone like her. apart we're good. together we're bloody brilliant. she brings out the best in me like no one ever has. and also she's just cool.
shes the thing i miss the most about not being in England.. i'd only ever lived in the one house in my entire life and then in a space if a couple of months i haven't just moved house I've moved country. :o
thats pretty much all i can be bothered to right but i will continue to bore you.
i like fox hunting. i know its controversial etc etc, but i love it. i was brought up doing it and will continue to pursue it in the legal way. people who have never done it dont understand it but dont sledge it till you've tried it.. thats what i always say.
ok im done for now. see you all later and happy blogging. <3
my dad left moi et meine famalam (mix of the languages there. i apologize) when i was 2.
i have a brother and a sister. 15 and 20 respectively.
my mum died September 2010 from cancer after a 3 year battle, well i don't like the term battle.. it doesn't sound right yeah she had cancer but she was amazingly strong and never gave in. she was and always will be my lifetime inspiration. anything i do will be to make her proud.
i have lived in France since February with my Aunt, Uncle and 2 cousins, its good but i sometimes wonder..
my step-dad turned out to be a total idiot; not the same man my mum married in 2005 which was a shame as i did kind of respect him.. hes getting married next year.
my brother lives with my Aunt, Uncle and four cousins in Kent he loves it. i wish him the best in life down there. :)
im in France learning the language. loving the people but missing England.
now girly kind of drippy stuff. ;) my bestest friend is Abi, never known anyone like her. apart we're good. together we're bloody brilliant. she brings out the best in me like no one ever has. and also she's just cool.
shes the thing i miss the most about not being in England.. i'd only ever lived in the one house in my entire life and then in a space if a couple of months i haven't just moved house I've moved country. :o
thats pretty much all i can be bothered to right but i will continue to bore you.
i like fox hunting. i know its controversial etc etc, but i love it. i was brought up doing it and will continue to pursue it in the legal way. people who have never done it dont understand it but dont sledge it till you've tried it.. thats what i always say.
ok im done for now. see you all later and happy blogging. <3
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